Breaking generational cycles doesn’t begin with confrontation. It begins with clarity.

For many of us, silence was never about denial. It was about survival. About protecting family. About keeping the peace, even when it cost us our own. But there comes a point when silence stops protecting us. And starts protecting the harm.

Healing does not require exposure. It does not require reliving every painful detail. And it does not require abandoning faith, culture, or family. It requires honesty, with boundaries.

One of the most misunderstood parts of healing is forgiveness. Forgiveness is often rushed. Weaponized. Used to bypass accountability. But forgiveness was never meant to excuse harm.

Forgiveness is not reconciliation. It is not forgetting. And it is not silence. Forgiveness is release. Releasing the belief that holding onto pain keeps us safe. Releasing the burden of carrying what was never ours to hold. And learning, sometimes slowly, how to forgive ourselves for how we survived. Because survival often required choices made without safety, support, or guidance. And self-forgiveness is where dignity is restored.

In my work, I’ve seen what happens when people are finally given permission to name their pain, without being asked to perform it. When they are taught that boundaries are not disrespect. And that peace does not require self-sacrifice.

This is how cycles begin to loosen. Not through blame. But through understanding. Not through silence. But through language. And not through punishment. But through choice.

Breaking cycles doesn’t mean rejecting where we come from. It means deciding what we carry forward, and what we finally lay down.

You can listen to the podcast below.